Beliefs
Secondary Gains
Introduction
Hey there Agents of Change!
It’s time to get down to some of the nitty gritty of why clients don’t change!
In this module we are going to examine some of the most overlooked reasons why people don’t have lasting change.
It’s one thing to discover a person’s belief system. Even more exciting to uncover some of the unconscious beliefs that a person holds that they weren’t aware of and in many cases, just making them aware, allows them to have the aha moment and that in itself creates change.
However, what is often overlooked in many areas of change work is what is actually keeping the issue in place.
Now over these next six weeks I will be showing you a couple of different things that keep people stuck. This week we are going to look at secondary gains.
What is a secondary gain?
- A Secondary Gain is where an apparently negative or problematic behavior actually provides a positive or beneficial end result in some way
- A Secondary gain is any advantage, as increased attention, disability benefits, or release from unpleasant responsibilities, obtained as a result of having an illness or issue
- Secondary Gains are the “benefits” people get from NOT overcoming a problem
- For many people who are stuck, secondary gains are an important mechanism in why they stay stuck
- A Secondary gain is usually not something people are consciously aware of e.g. generally the person is not being consciously manipulative or faking (the distress/impairment is still real)
Examples:
- While smoking is creating health problems for an individual it may help a person to relax or interact socially with a particular group of people. So, while the person desperately wants to quit smoking… they believe that they will not be able to relax or interact socially without smoking.
- Person with chronic pain does not really like spending time with their partner’s friends. When person is experiencing a lot of pain, their partner does not pressure them to go to social events as much. Their pain is reinforced.
- A person with social anxiety feels understood when they start learning about social anxiety. They create an identity around having anxiety. Having social anxiety is reinforced by feeling understood and identifying with the ownership of anxiety. They do not know who they would be without it.
- A person is putting off dating until they lose weight. If dating has negative references or is anxiety provoking, then not losing weight is reinforced.
What’s the point of understanding secondary gains?
- All the people that have secondary gains are trapped by them… most secondary gains are unconscious therefore a person is unaware of what they are doing.
- Understanding that when a person is stuck with a issue or problem imagine the issue or problem being like a platform that is propped up by supporting beams. In creating change, we work to identify the beams, and knock them out and reinforce the platform with beams that support the new goal or outcome.
Video on Secondary Gains
Watch the video below and then:
- Write three aha’s that you have gained from watching the video in the Facebook Mastery Group.
- Write three questions that the video has brought up about Secondary Gains when working with clients.
A PERSON'S MIND IS SO POWERFUL
WE CAN INVENT, CREATE, EXPERIENCE AND DESTROY
THINGS WITH THOUGHTS ALONE
FAQ
DOES EVERYONE HAVE A SECONDARY GAIN?
Does everyone have a secondary gain?”
It is important to keep in mind the majority of people we are working with are stuck in some way. Not everyone will have a secondary gain. Our job is to understand how the person is successfully creating the issue that has them stuck.
Should I ask my client if they know the secondary gain?
Most individuals have developed the successful creation of their issue at a time of great emotion or as a strategy to get themselves out of a difficult situation. Most individuals that have a secondary gain are unconscious of the fact that they are getting a benefit from being stuck.
If I make them aware of the secondary gain is that enough to change it?
No. Even if you bring awareness to the benefit, more often than not the individual will feel powerless to change it. If they had the ability to move forward before they would not be coming to see you. Awareness is important but we also need to create leverage for the client to see how to reap the reward with out the illness or defeating pattern.
WHY IS DEALING WITH THE SECONDARY GAIN SO IMPORTANT?
It is many people’s experience that the initial hope and euphoria – so often experienced immediately after a session (or therapy, or personal development) – fades, and the symptoms return.
The most common reason for this is secondary gain.
You may well have found the root cause of the problem. You may have effectively released it.
But if the secondary gain is not released you will probably not see any long term change in the symptoms – because unconsciously the mind will recreate the symptoms to keep the individual safe.
WHO WILL I BE WITHOUT THIS?
Another source root of a secondary gain is the need to stay a part of our tribe. An individual might not like their family or the family behavior but on an unconscious level the unproductive behavior keeps them close to the family.
Or they might not have any other experience so are unable to imagine who they would be with out the behavior.
SECONDARY PAIN AND CHRONIC PAIN?
Secondary gain plays a critical role in patients with chronic pain syndromes.
It includes such things as avoiding onerous tasks;
- EXAMPLE: a worker is injured on the job. Often the patient perceives himself/herself as strong and able to carry on a hard, demanding physical job throughout their working life. However, as he/she reaches his/her early 50s, the body begins to show evidence of age and he/she is no longer able to perform the tasks.
- Next, he/she develops either a real or perceived injury and disability that prevents him/her from returning to the job; the individual may not want to return to work, does not want to return to that job in particular, or does not have the skills to find a different job.
- The regular payments, received from the insurance industry or the disability system, provide a way to avoid going back to work, while providing a living.
Your time to shine is NOW!!
Right here Right Now!
I ‘m excited and grateful to be sharing this part of the journey with you!
Let’s Do This!